It is so scary!

I can't talk to someone about my feeling right now. I feel numb. I don't know why I should feel this way. And its been one and half month. I am crazy if I should feel this way for so long. Because now, I am financially stable. I thought before, people who have a stable condition such "financially" will feel happy cause they don't need to think about something that they can't provide. But now, I think I am wrong, cause financially stable doesn't make me feel happy. I am worried, that all I have right now drive me away from Allah Swt. I am scared. I am scared that Allah just let me to feel this way. I don't want to Allah leaves me. Astaghfirullah hal'adzim. Oh Allah, please forgive me and fix everything inside me. Aamiin 

Surakarta, 16 Mei 2021

Dream About Umroh (at Al Masjid an Nabawi)

This place look so similar when I did pray in my dream

    First of all, I'd say thank you especially to Allah Swt., thank you for gave me a beautiful dream that I could asked for. Allah, thank you so much for gave me a dream such an Umroh. This dream just happened 30 minutes ago when I write this story. I fell a sleep after Magrib and woke up at 9.45 pm cause I'm so exhausted. I knew that I haven't pray Isya yet, but the dream that Allah Swt. gave to me was so special. I'm glad that Allah Swt. gave that dream to me. 

    I'd explain to you how beautiful it was. Honestly, I just confused what happens when I'am in my dream. I just remember I'am standing at Masjid Nabawi and praying. After pray, my eyes just look around the Masjid and see the most beautiful Masjid I've ever seen in my life. And I'd never forget that my guide is a boys (literally a kid). He was telling me about everything that I see at Masjid Nabawi. He tell me about the way how I can go to the resting place of Prophet Muhammad saw., and explain everything about pillar of Umroh, tell me about the history of Masjid Nabawi, where the Jabal Uhud and everything. I just amazed for everything that I can see around Masjid Nabawi. Me and my group, of course with our guide walking to all the places around Masjid Nabawi. The one thing that I can't understand is why Masjid Nabawi was so empty, so that make me and group can walk around with comfortable (maybe because of this pandemic in real). Finally, I am standing in front of the gate of Masjid Nabawi and smiling. And then I woke up from sleep. 

    Of course, I was smiling after woke up from sleep, took a bath, and did Isya. But, the feel about this dream I think I can't never forget. Thank you so much Allah for everything that You gives to me. Alkhamdulillah (All praise is for Allah Swt.) Aamiin. 

Surakarta, 17 November 2020

Contoh Resensi Buku Fiksi dan Nonfiksi

Resensi Buku Fiksi dan Nonfiksi 

Contoh Resensi Buku https://amanahpustaka.blogspot.com/

    Apakah Anda sedang mencari contoh teks resensi buku? Daripada hanya copy paste, yuk belajar menulis resensi buku yang baik. Agar Anda dapat dengan mudah membuat resensi buku, hal pertama yang harus Anda pahami adalah mengetahui mengenai apa itu resensi. Resensi mernurut Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia adalah pertimbangan atau pembicaraan tentang buku; ulasan buku. Selain itu, resensi juga sering dimaknai sebagai suatu kegiatan menilai sebuah buku. 

    
    Buku dikelompokkan menjadi dua jenis, yaitu buku fiksi dan nonfiksi. Buku fiksi merupakan jenis buku yang muatannya berdasarkan imajinasi pengarang. Hal tersebut berbeda dengan buku nonfiksi yang muatannya berdasarkan fakta dan data (kenyataan). Kedua jenis buku tersebut dapat dibuat resensi, sehingga menjadi resensi buku fiksi atau resensi buku nonfiksi. Resensi buku merupakan jenis teks yang memuat ulasan sebuah buku. Ulasan tersebut kemudian disusun berdasar urutan struktur teks resensi. Berikut struktur teks resensi. 

1. Judul Resensi 

2. Identitas Buku:

    a. Judul buku 

    b. Penulis 

    c. Penerbit 

    d. Tahun terbit 

    e. Jumlah halaman 

    f. Jenis buku 

    g. Ukuran buku 

    h. Harga buku 

3. Isi Resensi 

    a. Ulasan mengenai penulis 

    b. Ulasan mengenai buku yang diresensi 

    c. Ringkasan cerita atau isi buku 

    d. Kelebihan buku 

    e. Kelemahan buku 

    f. Simpulan dan saran 

    Poin-poin tersebut merupakan struktur dalam teks resensi. Dalam menulis sebuah resensi harus mengikuti struktur tersebut agar teks resensi yang dihasilkan maksimal atau dapat mudah dipahami oleh pembaca. Contoh resensi buku fiksi dan contoh resensi buku nonfiksi dapat dilihat di https://amanahpustaka.blogspot.com/. Selamat mencoba membuat teks resensi! 

Dear Me #4

    A few days ago I just realized about something. I think its been for two years that I have an issue about why I can't get my one dream that I always ask for. Honestly, I have dream to continue my study to the next level. But the condition is so hard for me to make it come true. Everyday for two years I always think about that. I cried almost everyday before I sleep. But the feel of pain made me get closer to Allah Swt. I told to Allah how I can get my dream, what's my fault, and what's something that I left behind that made me feel so hard to catch this one? I trust Him with all of my heart (aamiin), so that's the one think that make me still alive until know. 

    A couple days ago, I reflected about my prayers. And I remember when I was in the college, I was always pray to be someone that very independent (financially), always have time to study, and have a comfortable life after graduation. But after graduated, I was changed my mind, I want to continue my study to the next level as fast as I can. The reason is I love study and research so much.

    Realize abut my prayers, actually I feel bad for myself because I knew that Allah has given to me everything that I asked. I got job as a content writer after my thesis defense and as a research assistant after that. So I have two jobs actually at that time before I took a graduation ceremony. I got payment from those jobs and can pay my stuff. And two months after graduation ceremony, I got official job as an editor at the publishing company during have two freelance jobs. 

    So, if I am consciousness about correlation between my prayers and my life right now, everything is balance. My prayers as I know, I want to be someone that very independent (financially) after graduate then I get it. I get payment from my jobs. And then I want to be someone that always have privilege to study, then I get. Now, I have freelance job as a research assistant and full time job as an editor. Those two jobs always make me have privilege to study every single time. 

    This condition should have made my life very comfortable. But feeling pain every single time that I have right now is because I am focusing for something that I can't have it yet. Have a big dream to continue the study to the next level isn't wrong. It needs time to prepare. As long as I don't stop praying and learning. I will go for it. I trust Him about everything. 

    Now, I just want to tell myself that I don't have to feel pain anymore. I just need to work harder than before because I know, Allah watch me to prepare about that one (my big dream) as what He did to me. He always give me everything that I need, look like everything that I have right now is what I always asked for before. So, I will work hard for one of my big dream, that is continue my study to the next level with my everything (Allah Swt.) and my own self. Aamiin 

    Allah Swt., thank you for everything that You have given to me. Especially to made me watch Ngaji Filsafat that Dr. Fahrudin Faiz said on a video.

"Allah Swt. always answer our prayers, whether in the way of form we really want or in some other form. This is because Allah knows better than us. Beside that, the mercy of Allah Swt. is so wide. He never failed to answers his servant's prayer."

    Think about what Dr. Fahrudin Faiz said on his ceramah, I think that everything his said is relatable with my life. So, the conclusion is I just need to work hard to go the trough (everything in front of me) with Allah Swt. and myself. And I hope Allah Swt. always be there (in my heart) every single time. Aamin.

Surakarta, 29 Oktober 2020

Dear Me #3

Whats wrong with me? Idk. That is always my answers. Today I feel so bad for myself for not doing good for everything. Especially for having social media that makes me spend a lot of time which is that is so waste my time. People have problem when they have social media cos they compare their self to others. But I'm not. I have problem about social media cos those are so fu*king waste my every single time. I can spend 3-5 hours for just scrolling and watching something that didn't impact for a good reason in my life. Now, I feel depress for it. So, I decided to delete all my social media, such as facebook, instagram, twitter, tiktok for like permanent. I thought, this is a big decision that I made. I hope it will works for myself, my life, and my mental health. I want to love myself like I should be. That's it. 

Dear Me #2

I don't know why I hate myself so much today. I think that everything in my heart, my brain, and in my body aren't in tune. It sucks honestly, but I can't handle them. How can everything inside us aren't in tune if we are the only thing that have those of things? Lot of times I always confused. I thought that my heart always knew about something that's right or not right. And then my brain think of how I should be or suppose to be, but the problem is in my body. The body is always like that, show to the heart and the brain that the body don't wanna be that the heart or the brain want. I am in so much trouble about that. How I can't handle my body to be something that my heart and my brain want. How to handle my body to be that the what the heart and the brain want it? 

How? Because I don't wanna ask why? 

Surakarta, 6 September 2020 

Dear Me #1

Hi you, it's been a long since the last time you posted the last story. So, what happen today? Why suddenly you open this site? Honestly, I don't know what happen with me. Just feel confuse about something. Btw, can I talk to you? Right, I think you want to listen to me now. 

Actually, I'm so confusing about something right now. That feeling started a couple days ago. I wanna tell you something. Sure, I will to be honest with you. You know that a couple days ago I got "big opportunity" for my life, but since that time I tell you that I scared to much. I don't know why and what I scared about. That opportunity makes me think about a lot of stuff. Many things gather in my brain. So, I can't think clearly and do my work at the office. Still, I haven't decide anything and every time I think about what my decision suppose to be, my brain hurts and feels so heavy. I did salat and told Allah Swt. whats going on. Now, I'm focus to understanding whats the sign that Allah gives to me. I hope you will say that what I'm doing is right. I tell you this, me. 

Surakarta, 24th June 2020