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| Semua orang akan berubah, kecuali dia. Foto: Wisuda 15 Desember 2018 |
I just wanna write my feeling this night. As you know, this night is one of the best night that I can have. That's happen because just few hour ago something big happened in my life. What is that? That is courage. Courage is one of important thing in my life, because I think without courage someone (like me) was tortured for a long time.
I always love my family with a whole heart. That's the reason I did everything for them. I always think about them first. Especially about their happiness. I always focus to make them happy. I think about whats can make them happy. And I always try as best as I can to not make a mistake. But, as you know people like me (of course) made a lot of mistake. That hurts me.
But you know, focus to make them happy was made me forgot abut happiness itself. I forgot to understand whats the real happiness. I even never ask to them what is in this world that can make them happy? So, how can I make them happy if I don't understand happiness itself. I forgot about that (their happiness).
So, this night I ask them. Whats in this world can make them happy? They said that something can make them happy is if I'm happy. The problem is, I think after a long journey that I have, I just focus to them, make them happy with everything that I can gave. Even I don't like it and I'm not happy when I do that. I think they will happy for what I can give, even I'm hurt when I do that. And I forgot about my happiness. The important thing that can make them happy.
I know this night that I'm wrong. Their happiness is me, if I'm happy. So first, I should make my self happy. Just because of that I can make them happy. I realize how can I forgot about that. How can I forgot about my happiness. So I told them that I wanna catch my dream, my big dream in this world that can make me happy and of course I can make them happy too.
This night, I'm proud of myself because I have courage to ask them about that. I thought I was understand about happiness (their happiness and my happiness), but I'm wrong. And in Asian culture, talk with parents about life, struggle, love, and happiness of course is really need courage and bravery. I'm proud I have both this night. And the end, I told them that I love them so much. How grateful I am.
Surakarta, 12th January 2020.
